måndag 16 mars 2009

Pornografi och onani

"Ju mer religiös och konservativ man är, desto mer ser man på porr. Det visar en undersökning av amerikaners porrvanor. Mormonstaten Utah toppar listan över flest porrkonsumenter." basunerade ju Dagen nyligen ut, i sin nyhetsartikel "Ny undersökning: Religiösa porrsurfar mer än andra". Hela undersökningen: "Red Light States: Who Buys Online Adult Entertainment?"

Jag har egentligen ingenting personligen att säga om detta, däremot hittade jag häromdagen på John Heards blogg (som är en Australiensisk katolik som jag hörde talas om inför Världsungdomsdagen i Sydney 2008Xt3) en ganska relevant beskrivning om hur Gud finns överallt, även i de mörkaste av platser:
..."It is wrong to think God cannot be found in some places like the workplace. Even in the middle of a sex club, cock in hand downloading porn or halfway through an abortion we have direct and sure access to God. We can always change our minds and alter the course of our lives. How can we fail to speak with Him, how can we ignore the transcendent, omnipresent One? Catholicism is not a sad, hard faith, it is a breathtaking exercise in love, no matter what I have done, no matter when, or how - God is longing for my return."...

Apropå Mormoner och Mormonkyrkan (eller Jesu Kristi Kyrka av Sista Dagars Heliga som de själva kallar sig) vill jag faktiskt tipsa om deras tips för att övervinna självbefläckelse (även kallat onani/masturbation) som är starkt förknippat med pornografi. Självfallet vill jag också påpeka att alla tipsen inte skall tas på blodigaste allvar, men att många av de ger en vägledning - beroende på ens egen livssituation och det man utsätts/utsätter sig för ifråga om frestelser och annat som kan inleda en till synd:
"STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION


Mark E. Petersen
Council of the 12 Apostles

Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been, both male and female, and you can be also if you determine that it must be so.

This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once.

But it must be more than a hope or a wish, more than knowing that it is good for you. It must be actually a DECISION. If you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you.

After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific guidelines:

A Guide to Self-Control:

1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes.

2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.

3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.

4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your family present.

5. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you.

6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.

7. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act."

The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.

8. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books -- Church books -- Scriptures -- Sermons of the Brethern [sic, Cistern too?]. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the four Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their uplifting qualities.

9. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep [it] in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends, your families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT MENTIONING IT EVER -- NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS, NOT IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT _OUT_ of your mind! The attitude of a person toward his problem has an affect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power to control it.

As one meets with his Priesthood Leader, a program for overcoming masturbation can be implemented using some of these suggestions. Remember it is essential that a regular report program be agreed on, so progress can be recognized and failures understood and eliminated.

Suggestions:

1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and out loud when the temptations are the strongest.

2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises reduce emotional tension and depression and are absolutely basic to the solution of this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.

3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell STOP to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.

4. Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week, month, year and finally commit to never doing it again. Until you commit yourself to never again you will always be open to temptation.

5. Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed self-image. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming tempting situations.

6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate this plan to improving your Church service, to improving your relationships with your family, God and others. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.

7. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of developing friendships found in books such as How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

8. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.

9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self control, color the day black. Your goal will be to have no black days. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.

10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.

11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called aversion therapy. When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.

12. During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom door or shower curtain partly open, to discourage being alone in total privacy. Take cool brief showers.

13. Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what time of day it is. Get up and do something. Start each day with an enthusiastic activity.

14. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids before retiring.

15. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as lightly as possible at night.

16. Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding.

17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might create sexual excitement.

18. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.

19. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove while half asleep.

20. Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have to be a big reward. A quarter in a receptacle each time you overcome or reach a goal. Spend it on something which delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your progress.

21. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. Satan Never Gives Up. Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment."

Katolska Kyrkans Katekes har detta att säga om pornografi:
"2354 Pornografi innebär att man rycker verkliga eller imiterade sexuella handlingar ur dess sammanhang, nämligen parternas intimitet med varandra, för att avsiktligt visa upp dem för andra människor. Den kränker kyskheten därför att den förändrar den äktenskapliga aktens natur, som är den ena makens intima gåva till den andra. Den innebär ett allvarligt angrepp på värdigheten hos dem som ägnar sig åt den (aktörer, säljare och köpare, publik), därför att den ene blir ett otillåtet och primitivt nöjes- och profitobjekt för den andre. Pornografin försätter alla som har att göra med den i en skenvärld. Den är en svår synd. Samhällets myndigheter skall förhindra produktion och distribution av pornografiskt material."

Många tidigare filosofer, även icke-religiösa sådana, har argumenterat att självbefläckelse såväl såsom pornografi är utav ondo, det passar sig inte för en människa, utan är för djuren, som ej kan tygla sina lustar.

Lord Baden-Powell, grundare av scoutrörelsen, hade exempelvis detta att säga om självbefläckelse, i sin bok "Scouting for Boys": "You all know what it is at times to have a pleasant feeling in your private parts, and there comes an inclination to work it up with your hand or otherwise. It is especially likely to happen when you see a dirty picture or hear dirty stories and jokes.

Well, lots of fellows from not knowing any better, please themselves in this way until it often becomes a sort of habit with them which they cannot get out of.

Yet I am sure that every sensible boy, if he were told in time of the danger of it, would have the strength not to do it.

So I warn you all about it.

The practice is called 'self-abuse'. And the result of self-abuse is always - mind you, always - that the boy after a time becomes weak and nervous and shy, he gets headaches and probably palpitation of the heart, and if he still carries it on too far he very often goes out of his mind and becomes an idiot.

A very large number of the lunatics in our asylums have made themselves ill by indulging in this vice although at one time they were sensible cheery boys like any one of you.

The use of your parts is not to play with when you are a boy but to enable you to get children when you are grown up and married. But if you misuse them while young you will not be able to use them when you are a man: they will not work then.

Remember too that several awful diseases come from indulgence - one especially that rots away the inside of men's mouths, their noses, and eyes etc.

So for all reasons be on the lookout against this temptation, it is easier to stop it at first than when it becomes a habit. The next time you feel the desire coming on don't give way to it; resist it. If you have the chance just wash your parts in cold water and cool them down. Wet dreams come from it especially after eating rich food, or too much meat, or from sleeping with too warm a blanket over your body or in too soft a bed or from sleeping on your back. Therefore avoid all these.

Avoid listening to stories or reading or thinking about dirty subjects.

You will soon find that the temptation will not worry you so much. Be strong and don't give way to it.

If at first you find a difficulty about it don't be afraid to go and talk openly to your officer about it and he will tell you what to do."

3 kommentarer:

stenberg sa...

"Ora et labora" är ett bra bud för hela det kristna livet tycker jag.

Merparten av alla synder smyger sig in när man latar sig eller försummar bönelivet.

Kristina sa...

Vissa av de där tipsen var enligt mitt synsätt riktigt absurda... Och hela idéen att skriva ner så många tips är jag skeptiskt till. Ett av de få "bra" tips de själva ger är ju:

"Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind."

Då är det väl lite motsägelsefullt att skriva ner diverse tips och försöka behandla frågan som något bantingsprogram?

Så även om kyskhet är något väldigt viktigt så tror jag inte "nyckeln" till denna dygd (samma med ex ödmjukhet) ligger i att lägga så mycket energi på den. Bättre att istället fokussera på annat, så ökar man nog på ett mer indirekt sätt förutsättningarna att bättra sig.

Bättre att lägga fokus på hur man kan bli bättre mot sina medmänniskor etc.

minutz3 sa...

stenberg: är inte så säker på att "lata" sig per automatik leder till synd...
Det beror väl på hur man definierar att lata sig också. När man har som mest arbete att utföra tycker jag ibland att lockelserna och inviterna till syndande är som störst ibland...

Kristina: ja, jag skrev också att alla tips inte skall tas på allvar, och att de måste ses ur ett sammanhang, beroende på hur ens egen situation ser ut. Vi människor är tänkande varelser, därför förväntar jag mig också att läsarna ifråga kan fundera över vad som kan vara bra att använda sig utav och vad som bara är att förkasta. T.ex. tror jag inte att hålla en "Mormons bok" är det bästa - jag skulle föreslå en Bibel.

Men jag tror inte man bara kan ignorera synden. Då lär man falla i den igen, om man bara tänker "äsch". Detta är dessutom en mycket allvarlig synd vi talar om nu - en dödssynd - som man dessutom är mycket väl medveten om att man har begått (till skillnad från många andra synder som kräver mycket träning av vårt sinne för att kunna upptäckas).